by JP Esq | Sep 4, 2008 | Uncategorized
Ok, so I haven’t been updating. In fact I’ve been running from it. Writing it down seems to make it real. I have no job, no direction, and no idea how I’m going to survive another 30 days with the amount of dollars that are not in my bank account. Since the bar exam, I have finally been able to clear my mind…read a book that has nothing to do with law or learning and just sit. And I have learned that just sitting is driving me totally insane. Besides the fact the I felt totally violated in the worse possible way by the bar exam, I now have time to think about it over and over and over again. It was weird not to have that Sallie Mae security blanket come mid-August.
But, I was thrilled not to be buying books, reading a syllabus, or organizing myself. I enjoyed the 2 weeks or so of having not much of anything to do. But……………..I’m pretty much over it now. I’m so frustrated with trying to find a job – I would have been better never going to law school and just working for the last 4 years. Because I am actually worse off than I was when I graduated from college. Alas, I have faith that everything will fall into place soon. It’s difficult to be forward-looking when you have a limited amount of $$, no cash flow, and no immediate prospect of any income. But, I know that everything will soon work out and I will be screaming for a vacation. So I’ll try to enjoy it while it lasts.
Locked in my apartment. Because I’m broke.
by JP Esq | Aug 1, 2008 | Uncategorized
It. Is. Over.
And I really have nothing more intelligent than that to say. Because my brain hurts. My body hurts. And I have not yet returned to normal functioning. But, I will definitely update soon so you can learn about the extraordinary experience that is the bar exam. However, I am just too exhausted to do that right now. On the other hand, I have so much to say about what I have been through since May 19, 2008. I’m strongly considering writing a book. Because seriously – between the raging emotions, the spritual and intellectual ups and downs, and the hilariously ridiculous things that came out of my friends’ mouths, I’m pretty sure it would make you laugh, cry, scream, and run.
But the only thing I can do right now is sleep. In my bed, only getting out of it to eat, shower, and use the restroom.
More soon. I found my life. I missed her.
by JP Esq | Jul 22, 2008 | Uncategorized
So, I am down to the final week of this bar exam preparation. And I must say, I am starting to get excited. I am just so ready to get this over with. It has been nothing less than training for the world’s longest marathon. At the beginning of the summer, I admit, my greatest worry was not having any prospect of employment after the bar. Funny how God knows best, because everyday I am so thankful that I don’t have a job. Because after this exam next week I plan to not leave my house for at least 48 hours. Then, I look forward to nothing more than having NOTHING to do. Going to the pool. Texting people who have to go to work. HA.
Sure, the bank account will be looking kind of interesting towards mid-August, but I might just go get a part-time job doing something totally brainless until the right full-time opportunity comes around. I was worried about my summer spending, but honestly, I have been really good. I went to Target yesterday and was only in there for 17 minutes and came out with exactly what I went in there to get! Seriously, if you don’t know me you definitely can not appreciate what that means, but for those of you who are aware of my mild Target addiction, you understand that this is nothing short of a miracle.
Anyway, I am at the library now {where I must say the librarians have perpetual morning attitudes – and speaking of libraries – yesterday I saw 8 pregnant women in a 30 minute time span}, and I am preparing to dive into some more essay review. It’s corporations, pleading & practice, and state constitutional law today.
I am ready. I am content.
I have 191 hours. I have a headache.
by JP Esq | Jul 3, 2008 | Uncategorized
So it’s down to the last 25 days until the bar exam and I must say for someone who rarely admits to stressing out…I’m stressing out. I have constant headaches, I can’t sleep and I have started having ridiculously retarded dreams about this exam that would perplex Mr. Scorsese himself. I mean the most RIDICULOUS things . . . like homegirl is over here dreaming that they added a “Quick Fire” Challenge to the bar exam. For those of you who watch way too much BRAVO TV like I do, you know that I’m referring to the Quick Fire cooking challenge we saw weekly in Top Chef. Seriously? I consider myself to be a pretty sharp cookie, but a cooking part of the bar exam?
This leads me to believe that perhaps I should have continued in my walk down the road of Domestic Diva-ness, resuming regular trips to Williams-Sonoma (my favorite store outside of Target), and investing in enough matching aprons and Kitchen Aid Professional Series mixers to be the chocolate version of the ever-so-put-together Sandra Lee. Could have been a nice life. But I yet decided to massage my brain a little more and dig myself deeper into the jowls of educational debt by attending an additional three years of I’m-smarter-than-you school. Anyhow, I sit here, probably wasting time that would be better spent studying the ridiculous amount of material they give you to prepare for this exam, which is really nothing more than a drawn out lesson in malpractice because if you ever hire a lawyer who doesn’t look things up, then you should really consider firing that person and getting a job to earn back the money you no doubt wasted on their ridiculous hourly fees. So back to studying I go, because
I only have 25 days . . . four days longer than they (whoever “they” is) claim it takes to fully develop a habit. So let’s hope that I can master that skill and that this material just becomes habit. Because I will pass this exam the first time I take it. I will. And yes, I realize that I said “ridiculous” way too much in this post, but if the shoe fits . . .
One and Done.
by JP Esq | Jun 2, 2008 | Uncategorized
Since law school has ended, I often find myself in search of new hobbies. This weekend, I decided I was going to paint a picture. Now, you first need to understand that I often have these grand ideas of greatness and if I don’t carry them out right away, the desire soon fades away. But, this time I am proud that I actually went out, got a canvas, bought some acrylics – because I like painting with acrylics – and painted a picture – and I finished it. This is no small feat for my “Scanner” personality.
I often adopt new hobbies and start them and never finish. Like those pants I was going to make for myself. I bought the pattern, the fabric, measured, pinned and cut out the pattern. THEN – I couldn’t thread the darn sewing machine, so there they sat for about 4 years until I moved out and decided to just get rid of them because clearly I would never finish. Then there were the scarves I was going to knit for all of my friends for their Christmas gifts because I taught myself how to knit. Um, I’ve been working on one scarf for three years and it pretty much hasn’t even reached a length suitable for my fun-loving, 7 pound Yorkie.
Then there was the pottery. I wanted to make a vase, but the class was too much so I thought I would just go to my local Paint-Your-Own-Pottery place and paint a mug. By the time I picked out the mug and the paint and soon realized that the paint doesn’t go on the darn thing in any recognizable cover, I was quickly over it, but had already paid so was committed to failure. I still have that mug, although it is nothing to call home about.
So anyway, I painted outside on my patio listening to the morning chirping of the birds. And I loved it. It relaxed me and I had a fantastic weekend. Maybe I should just quit bar review now and start selling art. Anyway, here is the product of my work.
LOL. You can call me VincentinaVanGone.
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